Every therapist keeps secrets - not out of malice or pride, but necessity. Therapy demands silence about the things we see most clearly. You cannot help a couple by telling them what to do; you help them by helping them discover what they are already doing, and why. If I were to tell my couples what I actually think during sessions, they’d likely never come back. Not because I dislike them, but because therapy, real therapy , dismantles illusions - those fragile constructs of

"Better to trip with the feet than with the tongue." – Zeno Many words have lost their essential meaning in American culture. Everything is “awesome”. Any negative experience is quickly and carelessly labeled “traumatic”. If someone does or says something you don’t like, they’re “toxic". In the counseling business, words are incredibly useful and meaningful. I don’t know what counseling would look like without them. About five to seven years ago, I began to notice a subtle s

“I strongly recommend you take that black.” I had just ordered a pour over [1] at a local coffee shop. The barista who said this looks like she had just been popped out of the hipster mold they make every other barista in: randomly colored hair, covered in tattoos and facial piercings, aimlessly dressed. She’s looking back at me with a cheap self-righteous smile. The type of smile that you’d expect to see if you could buy them in packs of 50 at the local dollar store. I smil