Every therapist keeps secrets - not out of malice or pride, but necessity. Therapy demands silence about the things we see most clearly. You cannot help a couple by telling them what to do; you help them by helping them discover what they are already doing, and why. If I were to tell my couples what I actually think during sessions, they’d likely never come back. Not because I dislike them, but because therapy, real therapy , dismantles illusions - those fragile constructs of

“I strongly recommend you take that black.” I had just ordered a pour over [1] at a local coffee shop. The barista who said this looks like she had just been popped out of the hipster mold they make every other barista in: randomly colored hair, covered in tattoos and facial piercings, aimlessly dressed. She’s looking back at me with a cheap self-righteous smile. The type of smile that you’d expect to see if you could buy them in packs of 50 at the local dollar store. I smil